Juarroz

‘’Recítame alguno. Que pegue con ahora.
No las palabras, solo…como la música nocturna.
¿Sabes?’’

Lo dijo entre las sombras de la habitación,
inexistente(s).
Ella imagino como él sonreiría,
suave,
alargando el silencio,
alargando como su cuerpo mismo, sujeto a curiosos motes
[de su imaginación,
dentro de su imaginación.

No pasaría, claro.
Pero le gustaba pensarlo.
Ella cerraría los ojos para dejar que las
palabras
de aquel poema desconocido la acariciaran,
como si fueran los dedos largos de él sobre sus caderas
[desnudas.

Todo era largo con él.
Hasta la tristeza de no tenerle.
Pero ya estaba acostumbrada al silencio de la noche,
(Nosferatu),
a la interminable prolongación del azul oscuro
en la realidad alterna del

insomnio.

Just, Life.

Wow. Today was made of joe hisaishi music, sunny, abandoned streets and incredible sunsets.

I went to the vet, at 5, like I always do when i'm not studying. It was a hot sunny day with random beautiful clouds and a wisp of cold wind from time to time. Like a sort of goodbye for winter. The slow defrost that whispers spring. So, at 5:45 or so I got Kiki, the old, wise-looking, limp grandmother dog of the vet and we went to explore cala Flores. The soft piano notes of One Summer's Day made every house, every moss covered wall, every white fence look more alive, more beautiful in a soft way that was perfectly combined with the music. We climbed up steep hills, searching for the smallest, most twisted little alleys and we somehow ended up in the tennis court, where I knew Noodle-man would be playing tennis with someone from my class. And there he was, in a horrible, orange, shiny t-shirt and shorts with his long lanky legs making a very weird image.

So Kiki and I sat in front of the court and Suso and Jaime came along, and we just talked about nothing and watched the game and laughed when Diego made a mistake and shouted JODERRR in a very scary voice and kicked a ball to oblivion, afterwards laughing with himself. As time passed Kiki began to get bored so I went to a plain where I could overlook the courts, and there was this giant, abandoned football field dominated by plants. And I let Kiki loose, which was a big fat mistake, because she loves to run away so I had to run faster than I've ever runned in my whole life (because she is pretty fucking fast, even if she has a limp) and get to the gates of the field before her to close them. Mission completed, we just ran around in circles until i thought I was going to explode and then we returned to the tennis court, watching the game once again.

But of course we eventually had to leave so I went up a strange field next to the court and shouted-run, Diego, run!, to which he answered-yes yes fuck, bastard, which really made no sense lol and we said goodbye and I went back to the vet, once again zigzagging through the maze of houses. And I felt very happy, for some reason; I've never really gotten along with the people from my class, and it's my last year now, so just being there with them and laughing about little things made me happy. It's not that I regret not having gotten along with them; but it felt good, to just be there, with the sun and the grass and the sounds of the tennis ball being hit. I couldn't help grinning all the way back.

When it was 8:00 I got on my bike and left, watching as the sky slowly turned darker and darker listening to soft music. When I was close to home I looked to my left and saw this huge, incredibly beautiful purple cloud that seemed to be holding the sun, which was a bright pink, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I quickly switched my music to This Will Destroy You, ran across the street and pedalled as fast as I could to the salines. However, when I got there I saw that everything was filled with water (it's been raining like crazy for the last week) and only a small line of solid ground stood in the middle of the small sea. So, I pedalled through the water carefully (and getting my feet wet) and reached land.

I sat down, put on mushi-shi music and watched the sky as it changed from blue to purple to pink and back to a dark, rich blue, with the streetlights contrasting against the painting. And I started thinking, about everything. I really want to leave for uni, always said to myself I didn't really like this place, but it's not true. I realized just how much I love it here while I was sitting there with the magic of mushi in my ears. I recalled every fond memory, every dawn and sunset, every evening in the beach, all the small moments that i've enjoyed while being alone here. And it felt like a sort of goodbye, this sunset, like a sort of closing chapter to my life here. It's not that I'm not gonna ever come back, but a period of my life is coming to an end, and I couldn't help but crying. It wasn't because I didn't want to leave, or because I was happy of having lived here; it was just, everything. I looked at the sky with the music and I thought, how can it be so beautiful? The feelings inside me just poured out with everything, while I froze in the middle of a sea, just me, the wind, my bike and the world.

After sitting there for god knows how long, I got up, plugged in ''Blonde on Blonde'' and headed towards my mom's house, observing every little detail, yellow against blue, feeling so grateful and happy of being alive that I could die. I walked lucky with This Will Destroy You in my ears, went back to dad's zigzagging on my bike in the middle of the road, had a dark shower with Coldplay and sat down to have dinner.

A day made of something huge and beautiful and simple: life.

Meow?

I just did a test that said that there is a 91% chance that my cat is plotting to kill me.

So true.

http://www.heyquiz.com/quiz/cat_kill

We left in the afternoon

Death is a strange companion. We know it's there, always, waiting, waiting, and one day it's so much more closer. And for some reason, I can't treat it now as I did once. I sometimes scare myself, my insensibility and ability to tone it out are just amazing. Like killing a dog at the vet with a terminal disease. Just don't think of it. Try not to think of why exactly the animal has gone limp; just carry it to the freezer like it's a sack of potatoes. Symptons.

But now it's different. It's the full realization that I should have listened to my mother when she said, 'go see her, be nicer to her'. It's not going to be a sudden something that I can ignore, standing in the middle of people filled with grief and pretending I don't know why they're crying so hard.

I never liked the smell of hopsitals.

The worst thing is my inability to cry. Now, it's just that little whispering monster tat the back of my head. My father's pasiveness.

The silence.

Catfish

Pez

eras antes, hermana,

Bigotes de gato

en tu reino de

Azul

libertad fluida.

''La lluvia es triste porque nos recuerda cuando fuimos peces''

Love is

You'll be my princess
I'll be your toad
I'll follow behind you on rainbow road
Protect you from red shells wherever we go
I promise.

No one will touch us if we pick up a star
If you spin out you can ride in my car
When we slide together we generate sparks
in our wheels and our hearts


The finish line is just around the bend
I'll pause this game so our love will never end
Let's go again

The blue shell is coming so I'll go ahead
If you hang behind
It'll hit me instead
but never look back cause
I'm down but not dead
I'll catch up to you
Don't worry about Bowser or DK
Eat this glowing mushroom and they'll all fade away


to the mushroom cup
and the flower cup
and the star cup
and the reverse cup

walalalalala
walalalalalawaluigiiiiii

The Winner Is

Happy New year, Everyone!

Wow, I haven't written in this shit for ages. Not that I really had time, all I fucking do is study like a crazy person. There were some good moments though, walking at night with Explosions in the sky in my ears, or through morning mist with Pioneer to the falls.

And then, Christmas! A good rest at home, even if it was cold and cloudy most of the time and had to freeze my ass off outside because of the lack of internet. It was good as always, with hysterical laughing at 8 in the morning, Marina and I spitting at each other because she can never wash her teeth normally when she's hyper.

It's good to say that some things never change, proven by long walks running towards the camera and perching ourselves on a tree, singing Zelda songs, just like always. Sometimes I feel so glad to be alive, I might die.

We also discovered the wonderful Ponc'tan, where the japanese shark attacked helpless Paloma (let's ignore the moment when the shark fell flat on her face into the green sea and had to be helped up). The day was cold, but my mind was warm. Also, club nintendo was very orange, since it was ours, and it gave a good feeling. Painting outside was also fun, pulling strange faces with Paloma, saying hi to sesshoumaru...good times. Also, there was dawn, running and screaming ''it's red, it's red!'' like crazy people.

Then there was shiver. The first song I described as a sort of hiding terror, like the ending of a scary movie, where you know the why of everything but the fear is still there, at the edge of your mind, looking at you. It was cold and perfect. Then, the last one...The beginning made me cry of fear, because the feelings, the madness it had in it, were...Marina described it perfectly as the earth's lament from a past war. It was a cry of something out of our reach. And also, Do You ever feel cursed, which sara described as

We also plunged into the freezing sea on 31 December, like we do every year, a piece of salty good luck for this year, which I think is going to be great. i've started optimistic; I'm changing myself a bit, new clothes, maybe change my hair, which is now purple. I'm going to fucking uni this year, I can't wait, and I want to feel confident of myself. I'll survive the first half of a lot of studying and working and then, summer comes, when me, marina, guille and sara will just grab the car, pack a few things and go on a trip until we either die of heat or run out of money, with no destination in particular. Just being free, with good music, the camera, ready to eat the world. I can't wait to start my life, meet new people, try new things, scream my lungs out in concerts, run around naked at dawn, laugh like a crazy person and just enjoying life. Because we only have one chance, and I intend to do everything and anything I can, so I can go with a wide smile on my face. And I am forever grateful to have the friends and family I have, because you guys rock my world.