martes, 15 de julio de 2008

Woke up and the animals were gone


I like listening to the pained voice, every thread of sound ripping apart from pain in the air, wondering why I'm here and not there under the stars, sorrounded by my catfish, monkey, lynx, fox, butterfly, fretful puppy, dogs and birds, with the smell of cold summer nights and the video game cheers.


viernes, 4 de julio de 2008

Of colourful question marks

Question: For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:

Dear Aunt:

I didn’t know you had roosters in the sky. It seems they were finally able to fly and only in maple-dispenser shapes. Life is strange, even for the poor roosters. I’ve never really eaten much maple syrup, so the rooster will be standing in my room looking up at the sky, just like me.

Question: If there isn’t an ‘I’ in team, then why is there a ‘me’?

Because I would just be referring to me as a physical person, more matter in the universe. However, there is a me, because me is filled with so much things to help the team out. You can never erase ‘me’, even if ‘I’ die.

Question: You've been entered in a shadow puppet contest. What's your best pose?

One leg up, sleepy face and neck hidden under a pink turtle neck sweater. That is, a Flamingo!

Question: If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move?

A flick to the ear or a poke to the stomach. Ultra-power.

Question: Never mind the turtle. Don't you think you're sure to win?

I don’t know, that is one fast turtle. And the pretty colours of its shell distract me.

Question: Whoops! Your tongue is now a magnet. Whatever will you use for silverware?

Obviously wooden chopsticks, you Japan-ignorant fool.

Question: When you spilled the milk, did it look like the moon?

Nope. More like the art attack logo.

Question: What did you dream when you ate a spider while sleeping?

I dreamt I was standing on a bridge at night with a monkey, looking down into a river, when suddenly this huge frog came and said ‘kiss me, see if I turn into a prince’, so I tried it and it didn’t taste very good. I got mad afterwards because the frog turned into this blond person that radiated pink light so I told it to turn back into the turnip-head he was.

Question: Come up with some possible band names for your group that features a washboard and a styrofoam tuba.
The Soaked, Mute Sound, Scrub Ninjas.


Question: Unlike a dog, how can a turtle ever be naked?

A dog CAN be naked if you take all its hair off. As for the turtle, take the shell off. Deadly naked.

Question: You forgot your mom's birthday! What can you make out of super glue and olive pits?

You make first a base out of the olive ptis and stick it with super glue. Then, grab the tube and do small waves that can stand high enough for you to notice what they are, combining both glue and the pits. Then u make a little person out of pits dancing in the middle of it all.

Question: Radio wire is often used to make bird nests. What station do they listen to?

Hibird FM. He's got great adds for the carpenter birds and he's an international hero, all cute sitting on Hibari's deadly shoulder.

Question: What would you wear for camouflage if you were hiding in a gingerbread house?

I'd put on a candy-cane suit. They're pretty but taste disgusting. Just like the house with the cannibal witch.

Question: You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.

I tie the slinky between the goat’s horns and shoot myself up. I then find a rope and get the poor goat up of course.


Question: What's the most amount of sand you've ever had in your swimming trunks?

Enough to have a man-crotch.

Question: What spells can you cast with magic markers?

If you use them as microphone, you’re the new Jigglypuff (that darn pokemon). You can also draw in air and materialise whatever you draw. And if you have all colours, you can even summon Rainbow Rhino.

Question: Your hands have been replaced by rubber stamps. What do they say?

It’s show time. (We can mark FAIL in everyone's forehead now :D)

Question: What reason do you have to believe the earth is flat?

That once I tried to sail around it and obviously fell down into the spilt milk (aka the Milky Way). Thank god that huge bear that walks on water was there to help me back up.


Question: Your pyjamas have duckies on them. Why did you switch from choo-choos?

The smoke wouldn’t let me sleep. At least the ducks know when to keep their quacks to themselves.