Dawn and chocolate

Today (yesterday?) was good. I didn't draw, decided to take a little break. I wanted to watch a yaoi movie so I did just that, but the first was shit, so I looked for a second and it was also shit. In desperation I looked for a third one and it was quite nice! left a good feeling afterwards. Not a fucking great movie, but still entertaining to watch. It was 7 in the morning when I finished and Big Kitty had gone to bed, but I didn't feel like sleeping so-ok guess- I wacthed another movie! It was very funny, I enjoyed it.

Sleeping wasn't an option for some reason, at 8:40, so I got into my bathing suit and walked calmly to the beach, listening to soft music like elliott smith, which had me grinning like an idiot all the way. When I came to the beach, the sun was incredibly yellow and it prjected a stream of gold light into the sea. There was barely anyone there, which was nice, so I went into the water following the stream of light and floated on the cold water for almost half an hour (I almost fell asleep lol). I got out, finished my Earthsea book, which made me smile but also made me want to cry. I swam again, went back home, laughed when my dad said ''I was worried, thought I would have to go searching for your smoking corpse'' because he firmly believes I am a vampire, lol!

I went to bed. Woke up at 7 in the evening! I called my friend and we went walking in las salines, watching the beautiful sunset as I ran carefully over the dried salt with bare feet, both of us laughing as we expected one of those cliched scenes where the girl falls in the thin crack of ice.

And now here I am, enjoying the night listening to Jack Johnson's 'Sexy plexi' as I eat dark chocolate, waiting for the movie Chocolat to load. I'm going to watch another one with Big Kitty now, I hope it's good. The moon looks yellow from, just noticed. There's not a sound outside, except for the crickets and the palm trees when they're occasionally moved by the cold night breeze. I like it when it's calm like this. Makes me feel at ease.

Quiet nights without stars

I discovered that if I eat less, I feel more creative.

I came back from campo on Monday morning. Went to the beach alone, had no fun at all because my stupid parasol wouldn't stay still. Slept. And since then I've been drawing non-stop, going to sleep at 8 or 9 in the morning, waking up at almost 4 and starting all over again. Keeps me entertained, I like creating things, copying fun pictures from the wonderful game of Okami, but still. Every time I look up there's no stars. You can always see the stars there, away from all artifical cities and artificial lights, and there are some nigths where there's this huge white stream of stars, the milky way I guess, so beautiful it robs me of my breath because, for once, I'm seeing the world for real in my favorite place.

Summer passed too fast. Get up, work, sleep, pass the evening and start again. I can count the days I've been in campo with my fingers (If you count toes). I missed too many fun things. It was good that Big Kitty came to stay with me a couple weeks, it was thanks to her that I could make some very good memories of this summer, even if there are very few of those. However, everything I do here reminds me that last time I did them, I was with her, and it doesn't help much.

The other day I just couldn't draw anymore, so I went to the beach and floated on the completely still water, hearing the bells of sand that you can only hear in that beach. Then I saw that there was a perfect sunset of beautiful clouds and ran with ghibli in my ears to the salines where I knew I'd get the best view, carrying all my sketch books and running out of breath too afst for my liking. I sat down and painted a little. Not much, since the sky was getting darker and couldn't see. But it helped, some.

I don't want to start school now. One of my best friends is leaving and that leaves no one to be with me, since all my other friends like to stay with the crowds, which I understand and don't blame them for it, but still. It´s not a nice place.

I can at least look forward to the Manga salon. Going with Big Kitty, so its gonna be the fucking best. However, it still gets a bit hard. Summer is made of memories in campo and I don't have much of those now. I miss Big Kitty, and I get sad watching all the photos they took because I wasn-t there. Nevertheless, there is one photo i adore, because I took it, and it was quite a fun night. Because they-re all smiling for me there, all of us having fun and lifts my heart up when I see it. Because really, they are the best people in the world, and I wouldn-t be able to live without any of them.

NIPPON BANZAI!

I think I'm turning japanese I think I'm turning japanese I really think so para pa pa pa pa paaaa....

Woke up and the animals were gone

I like listening to the pained voice, every thread of sound ripping apart from pain in the air, wondering why I'm here and not there under the stars, sorrounded by my catfish, monkey, lynx, fox, butterfly, fretful puppy, dogs and birds, with the smell of cold summer nights and the video game cheers.

Of colourful question marks

Question: For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:

Dear Aunt:

I didn’t know you had roosters in the sky. It seems they were finally able to fly and only in maple-dispenser shapes. Life is strange, even for the poor roosters. I’ve never really eaten much maple syrup, so the rooster will be standing in my room looking up at the sky, just like me.

Question: If there isn’t an ‘I’ in team, then why is there a ‘me’?

Because I would just be referring to me as a physical person, more matter in the universe. However, there is a me, because me is filled with so much things to help the team out. You can never erase ‘me’, even if ‘I’ die.

Question: You've been entered in a shadow puppet contest. What's your best pose?

One leg up, sleepy face and neck hidden under a pink turtle neck sweater. That is, a Flamingo!

Question: If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move?

A flick to the ear or a poke to the stomach. Ultra-power.

Question: Never mind the turtle. Don't you think you're sure to win?

I don’t know, that is one fast turtle. And the pretty colours of its shell distract me.

Question: Whoops! Your tongue is now a magnet. Whatever will you use for silverware?

Obviously wooden chopsticks, you Japan-ignorant fool.

Question: When you spilled the milk, did it look like the moon?

Nope. More like the art attack logo.

Question: What did you dream when you ate a spider while sleeping?

I dreamt I was standing on a bridge at night with a monkey, looking down into a river, when suddenly this huge frog came and said ‘kiss me, see if I turn into a prince’, so I tried it and it didn’t taste very good. I got mad afterwards because the frog turned into this blond person that radiated pink light so I told it to turn back into the turnip-head he was.

Question: Come up with some possible band names for your group that features a washboard and a styrofoam tuba.
The Soaked, Mute Sound, Scrub Ninjas.

Question: Unlike a dog, how can a turtle ever be naked?

A dog CAN be naked if you take all its hair off. As for the turtle, take the shell off. Deadly naked.

Question: You forgot your mom's birthday! What can you make out of super glue and olive pits?

You make first a base out of the olive ptis and stick it with super glue. Then, grab the tube and do small waves that can stand high enough for you to notice what they are, combining both glue and the pits. Then u make a little person out of pits dancing in the middle of it all.

Question: Radio wire is often used to make bird nests. What station do they listen to?

Hibird FM. He's got great adds for the carpenter birds and he's an international hero, all cute sitting on Hibari's deadly shoulder.

Question: What would you wear for camouflage if you were hiding in a gingerbread house?

I'd put on a candy-cane suit. They're pretty but taste disgusting. Just like the house with the cannibal witch.

Question: You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.

I tie the slinky between the goat’s horns and shoot myself up. I then find a rope and get the poor goat up of course.

Question: What's the most amount of sand you've ever had in your swimming trunks?

Enough to have a man-crotch.

Question: What spells can you cast with magic markers?

If you use them as microphone, you’re the new Jigglypuff (that darn pokemon). You can also draw in air and materialise whatever you draw. And if you have all colours, you can even summon Rainbow Rhino.

Question: Your hands have been replaced by rubber stamps. What do they say?

It’s show time. (We can mark FAIL in everyone's forehead now :D)

Question: What reason do you have to believe the earth is flat?

That once I tried to sail around it and obviously fell down into the spilt milk (aka the Milky Way). Thank god that huge bear that walks on water was there to help me back up.

Question: Your pyjamas have duckies on them. Why did you switch from choo-choos?

The smoke wouldn’t let me sleep. At least the ducks know when to keep their quacks to themselves.

Belle

Oi, lienda,

Bella che fa?

Bonita,Bonita,

Qué tal?

But, Belle,

Je ne comprends pas français

So you'll have to speak to me

Some other way

Jack Johnson's brings summer with the end of May.

One inch

Alone in Kyoto (let the sea carry you away)

Because you are dawn and I am night, I choose dawn and you chose night

Of everything that makes me who I am, my daydreams take up a lot of space. Every single day dream I've had in my life, every little story I imagine without realizing it, when I'm walking down the street, when I'm sitting in class watching the clouds. How they somehow always seem to include rain, or sea (her presence in my life I guess), and they always include this big, wolf-like dog that is my other half, the one that's not a bird. All the cliched situations, all the images created by wonderful books and movies and music, all the adventures I've lived in my mind, including myself in stories to live a thousand lives in one.

Clouds. Everyone sees this in me every day but no one really notices how truly important they are. Every morning what I first do is look up, to where the birds are and there are these days where they are so breathtakingly beautiful I wish I could just die, because the feeling they create in me, it hurts in my chest, like I'm trying to take them all in at once and there's not enough space. I could not live without clouds.

There are many silly fears I've had through my life that still cling to me when I remember them, but of all of them, my greatest one is simple: her death. Everything turns gray and sometimes, I may imagine what life would be without my father or mother and I would learn to live with it, even through the pain, but her...I would just kill myself, I think. I wouldn't know how to live without her. The simple thought makes me so sick...if I had a wish I always say I would love to be able to transform into any animal but really, what I would really like would be to die at the exact same second as her, sorrounded by green in our place in the world, with elegies and ending violins. I think I would be able to overcome my own selfishness and give up my wings for that.

I walways try to make the people around me smile and be happy but really, I do it for myself, I sometimes try to be one of those people you see in mangas or books, those warm-hearted girls with no malice in them that make everyone smile just because who they are. I know I am not like this and I hate myself sometimes for bth trying to be like it and not liking myself for it.

This is the only thing that maybe can be called the true me, because it is the only thing I will regret saying. That is... a dream. One night I had a dream where I was with Syaoran ( a boy from a manga series) and I was feeling bad because this girl (the boy's love) was just being so cruel to me. She left and Syaoran reached out his hand, touching my shoulder gently and I flinched from him, immediately regreting it. His face was the saddest thing I've ever seen, even if it was just a dream. So I hugged him and he hugged me back and then this feeling...it is strange, to feel something so raw in a dream when in real life it is impossible, but it was this inmense feeling of pure love, it made me so happy, I just can't begin to explain it, you would have to feel as I felt then. It was something so big and pure and raw that I thought my chest was going to explode. After that I was in this strange dark place with a red floor and glass walls with a man. I knew this man had something in him I needed and he wanted to kill me, so I mercilessly attacked him, stabbing him with a knife in the eye, then cutting his throat but he wouldn't die and he kept screaming at me, so I opened his stomach, threw my hand in and retrieved this shard of a jewel, which was what I needed. When I think of it it was truly horrible but I really didn't care in the dream. The man kept screaming at me and I ran out of the place, landing outisde in a shiny, sunny day. Syaoran was there and some other people and he rushed by my side, he didn't say anything but I didn't care. Iwas exhausted and covered in blood and I had just killed a man and I didn't care because I was so happy of seeing him again that nothing else would have made me more happy, the feeling invading my senses again, filling me up and making me whole, making me who I am.

Growing

Y por eso ya no puedes volver a la etapa en la que no te percatabas de lo que significaban las cosas...

Yaoi

...It's contagious....

The Merry Go Round of Life

Howl's Moving Castle

Same here....I really wouldn't be able to live without you....:)

Children

Today I went down to the city with mom. It was a very bright, sunny day and the sky was incredibly blue. The city, for once, didn't seem dark and dirty as I sometimes see it, but just a city, and since it's holidays everyone was out walking, laughing with their friends and family under the sun, playing with their children.

We were going to the parking and on the way I saw a very little girl whose mom had bought a plastic hammer (very popular here between children) and the little girl was just trying to hit everything she saw with it, which I thought was very funny.

Then while going through a park, we saw a very old man with lots of wrinkles sitting on a bench, soaking up the sun and looking at the people with a satisfied smile.

Then there was this small boy whose dad had bought him a little trumpet and he was going crazy with it, following his father around, who had a small drum and was playing it completely off-beat, making a curious concert.

It's nice to see people doing simple things and just living life.

6

The other day I heard an interesting challenge. ''Describe your life in 6 words''. I would like anyone at all to try as well!

Shiver words oxygen purple memory sibling

Balloon

One day, a boy saw a dream.

Twirling, swirling, flying, flying, so happy in his freedom, the boy believed himself a butterfly. But, when he opened his eyes, the boy was no butterfly, only a mere human. Then, he thought to himself, ''Did I just see a dream where I was a butterfly, or is this a dream as well? Maybe I am but a dream, that is seen by the butterfly?''

15 things

In response to BLAHOSAURUS:

1-When I'm in someplace or going somewhere and I'm listening to music, and the perfect song comes up, like it was made for that single moment, feeling a surge of what I consider true happiness for me, a second of my life with the biggest of smiles without caring who it might blind.

2-Waking up very early in the morning on a weekend, opening my shades and seeing it's going to be a rainy day, the feeling of just being me, those big, fat, ugly beautiful clouds and Regina Spektor.

3-The different ways people laugh.

4- Staying up all night with Marina and going to freeze while watching the sky get weird colours.

5-The idea of getting a glimpse of random people's memories and feelings that go with those memories (painted clouds, closing gates and rebirths)

6-Painting with my watercolours a huge mushi-shi drawing at 4 pm with all the sun hitting my side, listening to music, just me and my dog.

7-The different ways people have to get in and out of the water in the beach.

8-Eating a whole bucket of haagen-dazs in plain winter while shivering a LOT but still finishing it.

9-The thousands of special images that run through my mind when I listen to Ghibli.

10-Staring at the same drawing for hours, examining every little detail and being completely absorbed by it.

11-When I wake up from a dream, think ''I want to continue it'', fall asleep again and actually keep on with it!

12-The way a bird's feather changes into different colours with different light.

13-The way my dog is always trying to talk in that way of his.

14-Hysterical laughing fits you get at 5 in the morning with something extremely stupid.

15-Becoming part of a shiver song in a completely dark room.