It's Monday and it's raining cats and dogs and maybe an elephant or two. However, I'm listening to Franz ferdinand and remembering the crazy, wild and fantastic weekend I had at the SOS 4.8 festival.By a trike of good luck Belen gave me her ticket and at 7:00.pm friday I was with Sara, Gloria and marini walking towards the festival. The evebing started out with wows at the gynormous place, dancing along to the Sunday Drivers, with their summer-like music. The real party started at 9:00 pm when The Horrors started playing, a group of 5, sexy, skinny men with wild hair that played music that reminded all of us of the start of good rock, bak at my mom's time. Garage Rock at its best; they had us all jumping and cheering and having a great time with the sound of the good old times we never got to live ourselves.After that sara and I migrated to teh Jagermeifter scenario, where we went totally wild with Crystal castles. Experimental techno with a touch of punk, it was crazy and raw, with that crazy woman and her screamy voice making our cells rumble.And then, the best part of the night finally arrived: Franz ferdinand! Me and sara got separated and spent the concert alone, but it was still fucking-ass great. Even though I was far from the stage, there were huge panels filming what was going on up there and we all danced and sung along to all of our favorite songs: Do You Want To, The Fallen, No You Girls, Ulysses, Jaqueline, This Fire, Can't Stop feeling...that sexy Alex Kapranos and his magnific voice had us going for over two hours in that typical frenzy of well known-groups. The height of the concert for me was when the guitar stopped playing, started grabbing lone drums and they all ended up banging them in a sort of tribal way that was raw and perfect. A more than great concert; they didn't let me down.After that Sara and I danced around everywhere, standing way back at the Hot Chip concert, random drunkards dancving along with us, or just us two going around dancing like morons and havign a great time. We also spent some time inside a small disco place they set up, dancing to A-Punk and Hit The Road, Jack!. A great night indeed.Saturday was spent lazing around at home, eating spaghetti made my Christian, Sara's flatmate, quite a nice guy, with all 7 puppies sara's taking care of running around the house and being generally adorable. At 4 or so it started raining and Sara and I decided to nap, listening to Chris and Bon Iver and at 7 we set off again for another wild night.At first it was utter crap because both my feet were filled with blisters and I could barely stand without feeling pain. Nada Surf I could enjoy, what little we heard of them; sara enjoyed dancing to her favorite song; I was a bit disappointed though since they didn't play ''Blonde on Blonde'', but oh well. I can't recall what happened between that and Dorian at 11:00 pm, because my feet hurt so much I could only focus on that. Since I didn't like Dorian much and we were waiting for Madness to play, I decided to talke a break and went to the bathrooms and sat there for a long while just chilling. A couple guys invited me to a beer in exchange of guarding their drinks while they went to the bathroom, lol. The good thing was I remembered I had tissues and put them inside my sock and could no longer feel the pain! So I set out to party once again with Sara. We danced happily thoguhout all of Madness' concert, and even though I ended up missing Love of Lesbian i had a good time. After that we set out to see some guy we didn't know called Chris Cunningham and, wow. Just wow. His concert consisted of projectiosn in 3 different pannels accompanied by very, very starnge 'music' that was way too loud and made my body hurt of the vibrations. The videos were intensely grotesque, of deformed humans, naked people fighting, orgies, a strange alien-fetus thing; it sounds disgusting, but to see something like that so well done was amazing, truly. At 4:14 am. the concert finished and we set out to see Fatboy Slim. I thought I would die. The concert lasted until almost 7:00 am, with wild techno music that had all of us jumping around madly. At first I had loads of fun but I grew more and more tired and by the end of it I was just exhausted. However, it didn't end there; it was dawning already and the concert was over when, suddenly, we all started hearing the famous ''An der schönen blauen Donau'' Vals from Johan Strauss and it was completely surreal. Everyone was dancing around like ballerinas and butterflies, couples dancing around softly, drunkards imitating butterflies, me and sara twirlign around or dancing with random people and it was absolutely great. It was completely unreal and funny and just, fun. I remember looking at sara wondered by hearing the music and the sky getting clearer and everyone dancing around us and it was just, wow. Life is great!And well, when it was all over we went back home slowly because of our pained feet, after 12 hours of party party, slept until 3 pm and spent the day cleaning the house while Christian butchered the sofa in the courtyard, which needed to get out of there. Fast (it was rotten, lol). At 7 I headed towards Murcia dressed in Sara's hippie clothes and sat in Sta. Isabel next to the flower shop just reading and watching people go by. I arrived at home at 8.30 or so, had a shower, pinned the ''Pedazo temazo'' banner to my wall, had dinner, read some manga and went to bed.A great weekend indeed!
Woah! Been some months since I wrote in this. Stupid diary obligations, lol.
Well, we reached the end of March with our exams well done (although I still failed anatomy) and had a mega party where even Marina and sara came and in which I got so wasted I can’t remember half the things I did, lol! I remember the gotelé moment, and pulling alma around by her tie, and me and Bea yelling ‘’No!’’ and hitting people with a newspaper; it was a great great night, really. Around 7 am me, Bea and JL accompanied Alma to her house halfway, telling jokes and laughing about anything and I remember feeling great, for having good friends like them, because really my life here would be so crap if I hand’t met all these wonderful people.
After a real bad hangover, a failed trip to buy food and waiting till evening, me and Marina finally made it to Campo. Easter was spent in lazy, very sunny days, reading and drawing outside in the grass, our customary walks with the dogs, taking tons of pictures and finally having internet in Club Nintendo! Although me and Marina spent most of our nights in our own room, me reading manga while she studied, watching Project Runway at the end of the Night and Peep Show and Durarara while having dinner...I started playing Okami for the third time and Guille never got to play Zelda because he was ALWAYS sleeping. Nothing new there. A particularly good day was the last Wednesday where we went to the beach because it was a great day and bathed in the freezing sea, then afterwards went to see ‘’How to train your dragon’’, a movie which had us ‘’aww-ing’’ though all of it because the dragons were just fucking ADORABLE. And it didn’t end there; we had dinner at the sushi place; we ate so much, I thought I would puke and die. But it was great nevertheless!
After a great 2 weeks of chilling and sunbathing and being with family we all came back to our uni lives. We spend our days in the sun and even if our group has somewhat dissolved, I’m always woth Bea or Alma or both and it’s great. I’m getting to know them slowly and we spend most of our day all together and it’s great. Last week we had JL and Lidia’s b-day party at their house, which was a blast, drinking alcohol from lab tubes, lol, and then we spent all Saturday in the corny manga salon, which was also quite fun. Afterwards me and Alma had a mega merienda of icecream and chocolate and churros and then visited all the manga stores in Murcia. Another great day indeed!
Because Murcia is like that, it’s still February but it smells like May. It’s been a nice, sunny week, with summer heat tanning our skins. Me and my friends skip classes to go out into the sun, on the grass I watched with longing eyes on my first days here, thinking- I’ll come here when I have friends. Feels great to have small wishes granted. We sit in circles, tribes, packs, laughing about anything at all, me taking pictures like always, Sara dropping by, attracted to my purplish red hair that glints in the sun. Wednesday was a particularly good day. I went to class on first period (seriously, wow. I never get up these days), but by third period we were bored out of our minds and went out into the sun, eating vinegar flowers and listening to summer music. After an hour and a half we went back to boring classes and when we got out at 5 o clock, I decided to get a bus to Murcia. Not used to going at that hour, with the light all different and orange, I listened to the ‘’Vicky Cristina Barcelona’’ OST and admired all the small Spanish details, remembering Granada and feeling a great love for this loud, sunny country. It really has a different taste I will never forget, wherever in the world me and Catfish may be.
And well, starting from the beginning, after Christmas ended I spent a very curious 2 weeks living here in Murcia during which Sara and I, missing the farm, ate dinner together every night, feeling extremely giddy at being together with a feeling of home. We watched anime, screamed in Japanese like Mugen running through the building at 3 am in a mission to get Oreo cookies and became closer than ever.
After that I went back to la Manga, where I spent 3 weeks of relaxed studying, painting, feeling good about being home, going to highschool to have funny conversations with Juan, who agve me 3 hugs per visit, because he’s like that, and having Diego smile in surprise at seeing me, both of us knowing all too well that I just can’t help going back to see him. I also saw Marini a lot, went to the beach for our traditional evenings talking about everything and nothing while eating potato chips and also meeting a strange but beautiful girl through msn, talking to her every day. She’s a curious person with a lot of quirks that I really liked getting to know. And of course, I went to the vet often, laughing all evening with Lázaro and Pedro and taking my costumary walks with Kiki. I missed her!
Campo was also good, with beautiful pictures taken, kissing Filippo’s soft head and playing with all the dogs in the grass, taking walks with them and feeling incredibly great as the sun licked my skin on my walks with the pack. I really do love those animals.
And I think that’s pretty much it! I shall blog again after the Mono, Yo la Tengo and Ólafur Arnalds concerts, which will be greatgreatgreat!! :D
These are just ghosts that broke my heart before I met you
Reminiscing is one of my favorite things, when I feel in the mood. Like now, sitting here alone in my room, with jere and this orange light, listening to Antony’s voice. I had the best turn to adulthood ever; turned 18 in a movie theater submerged in the world of Avatar, with blue creatures and a connection with nature and animals and intense, beautiful music, chanting in a foreign, alien language. It’s one of the best movies I’ve seen in quite a long time, sure to become a classic favorite. Even if the storyline wasn’t overly deep , clouded with clichés, it was still a great film to watch, live another life in a way only real good books can make you. As Sara said when we exited the theater, ‘’If we were about 5 years younger we would be playing Avatar like-I wanna be the girl!’’. Made me feel good, remember all the pokemon times.
And well, what can I say about this year? Too many things have happened. I had a feeling when we bathed last December in our beach, that the salt from that sea, that beach which is like a mother to us, would make good things come. Truth is the year started bad, what with all the grandma business, but she has proven everyone that she can defy nature and is now a lot better than one would expect for a woman her age. So, even if I don’t really believe it, I like to think the salt gave us all a strike of good luck.
My last months in high school were spent in a studying frenzy, with declining mental sanity, way too many laughter with Eus and, of course, all the Diego drama. I still have him in my mind a lot, sometimes more intensely than others, but I’ve grown used to having this overwhelming feeling of love inside me, because really I’ve lived with it for a long time now ( almost a year!) and it’s become a small part of me, one I wouldn’t know how to live without anymore.
Finishing high school came as a shock in the sense that, after all those years hating everyone, being a teenager and just wanting to get out of there, it surprised me how much it cost me to detach myself from the place. We all grew up, matured, surpassed our teenage-induced differences and fights and I grew fond of everyone. The other day I was walking to class and started to think of them, of seeing Coral on tv working as a reporter, having Gonzalo call me for a job at his company, talking with Africa of children and animals… it made me happy to see that really I’d forgiven them all and held no malice towards them, not even Victor. The thought of maybe seeing him 10 or 20 or 30 years from now, both adults, him having changed a lot as well as myself and just chatting in a café made me feel quite at ease. I’ve adapted to the idea of growing, moving on, leaving things behind but always remembering them, having that place in my mind to go back to, smile at the good moments, feeling embarrassment at some silly stuff I did…just, life.
Summer was incredibly strange, with Tato gone, the changes that hadn’t really solidified until it was that season. Easter was spent in a strange arrangement of me and Marina alone here, always raining, Kuroshitsuji, the bench, and it was so strange that we just accepted it as it was and had quite a lot of fun, but really it wasn’t until summer came that I realized just how much things were different. For some reason truly unknown to me I was moody most of the time, probably because all the stress of change or whatever, but I remember the holidays quite fondly and that’s what’s important. Also, finding that I could again just be with Danish without having to feel anything but comfort and calmness was quite good as well. I missed our friendship and now I find myself talking with him a lot on msn like we used to, and really I couldn’t be more happy right now.
Uni life is as good as it gets, I think, for the start of it and I’m quite content with how things are going. I’m mildly worried about the grades and stuff, but starting to mistrust myself now would be rather stupid, so I’m calm about everything. Now I only look forward to good moments with friends, with Jenny, parties, meeting new people, learning new wonderfully vet things (lol) and, who knows, finally meeting a man I can, you know, BE WITH. Lol. And if not it’s ok too. I’m just overall happy, daydreaming and City Girl and new experiences that come with the start of an adult life.
I can only conclude this with a Merry Chirstmas and, especially, Happy New Year to you all! Enjoy life :)
It's cold, all of a sudden. Bone-chilling cold. The streets are empty, dead,frozen, still, but the lamplights spill yellow over my head and the city is mirroring the night sky, in the distance.
I can't even hear my own steps. Just that sound...
It feels like home again. That sense of familiarity, when the author disappears and the character emerges, when Friday takes over my body, slowly, becomes part of the silent rumor that sorrounds me, him, us. I can smell his leather jacket, see his messy hair, hear his silent screaming in a world that was only his. Animals, silence. Everything before Sam, before life, before Explosions in the Sky.
Just me and him and no one walking in empty cities and streets and dust.
That familiar guitar is lost in the night, with everything else, and for a moment, all I see is the blaring white of bus-stop lights, yet another alternate dimension, and the trees that move even though time has left without them.
I am alone, he is alone, but our steps are confused and it makes all the difference, between the music and the cold night and the streetlamps of a wolrd that doesn't exist.
I’m sitting here in this desk I’m not too familiar with watching a soft, yet violent, cloudy dawn. The mountains are mocking me; there is no more low buildings and the smell of salt. Just rainwater and streetlights and cars and crazy people scaring the shit out of me at 4.am, banging on my door and trying to get in (and I here I thought people in uni were mature, responsible adults).
It feels surreal. Summer is over but I feel like in a trance; it’s been so different. Just sitting all night out in the porch, eating thai noodles at 8.00am while watching Mushi-shi (Akatsuki no Hebi, dango and crabs), building a monster house in the sims, walks with the dogs while the sun hides behind the Mountain, and the Tree, and safari sunset.
Bon iver haunts me with images of warmth.
And yet, I can’t feel bad either. A sort of strange in-between. Trying to get to know people, suprassing my antisocial personality ever so slowly, wishing for Sara to come and to see Jenny so it will make this place more familiar. I want to tangle piano notes in the tree leaves. Some places I want to explore remind me of Cala Flores, just going around and around, up and down, leftrightleft, listening to tattoos and hoping, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I’d find him (I never did but it’s ok). Seeing him at that Vetusta Morla concert, followed by sexy blonde long limbs and dancing and a man-woman, sort of ended something. I wanted to cry, so hard. It was like realizing how much I still loved him, in a different way, and how my position with him remained the same nevertheless.
As I try to get used to all the new, small sounds my house makes and force myself not to be nervous every time I hear a lock turn in the hallway, classes go by with promises of hard study but interesting things that will make me feel better than ever, because I’ll be getting somewhere, doing something that will take me one step closer to reaching that which I’ve always wanted. I am going to give it all and become a great vet; I have confidence in myself with that, at least.
Marina and Mom have been here today, and it all feels like a dream, but having my dear catfish sitting here on my chair brought a sort of familiarity into the room that makes the music roar lower in my head. Also, there are small promises of friends, with gentle smiles from long-limbed strangers and befriending people without even noticing it.
Summer. So many things; every day seemed like the previous and next and yet it was all so incredibly different in each one that I can’t even begin to recall all the dog smiles and motives of laughter and showers and volleyball in the pool and the green of the grass and yago’s sticky love. Granada was a curious adventure of walking about without getting lost but without finding what we wanted, and yet it was liberating, just catfish and I wandering and admiring past, present beauty and getting bed-bites and laughing at waiter’s insanity and old women telling their life at 100km/h.
And now, two months have gone by! ( lol yes, I wrote this entry a long time ago and randomly saved it xD) It’s incredible, how time moves forward without waiting for anyone. My days are now filled with a new routine: going to class (drawing in chemistry, falling asleep in anatomy); laughing at the cafeteria in our break while hoping to see Wolverine (lol), getting to know everyone a little better…we take group pictures and have fun at the farm with the horses and it’s so completely different. Minds have changed, and where my sarcastic, cutting comments used to be received with frowns or glares, now there’s only laughter and comfortable situations. I also feel that I’ve changed, so much; I talk with ease to people, I’m not afraid of large groups, I want to meet new faces and never get tired of being around strangers!
I also have the pleasure of seeing a familiar face once in a while, Africa ( ‘’I thought I saw you the other day! I said to myself-I know those boots’’) and going back to La Manga almost every weekend. Being there, in my room, like always, spending the night awake with a familiar view from my window is one of my greatest pleasures now, with the sense of ‘’home’’, truly. When I can I drop by my old highschool, see everyone, have the teachers greet me and ask me how I’m doing, it also makes me very happy. And Diego, well, after some email exchanges and some crying because this feeling is sometimes too overwhelming, I’m doing good, I guess. The bad thing is that it makes me long for a relationship like that, and I often find myself imagining all sorts of meeting situations with nameless lanky men with unruly black hair, but it keeps me entertained, so it’s ok.
I also went to campo one Sunday and it helped me settle down, playing around with the dogs, taking walks, picking flowers, laughing with paloma…when night fell I sat on the porch as always listening to the Princess Mononoke OST and mamen told me-we missed seeing a light on here!. That made me think, once again, of our wondewrful summer, but I wasn’t sad at all. I just sat there studying anatomy watching chiqui walk around the house and couldn’t have felt any happier, really, even if the catfish’s presence was gone.
And now here I am, listening to Woody Allen soundtracks, trying to recall all the small details, all the strange people met on party nights, that great rock concert with Jenny and Francis or last night’s Halloween party (I thought I was going to die of laughter; it happens when men dressed up as whores do their best to entertain you).
And so life goes on. Sara will probably drop by later, like she always does, just to chat or lie down in my bed reading biochemistry books while I study and we listen to music and it’s one of the best things here, the finishing detail to make this warm room seem like home, eating ramen, watching movies and imagining doing the same thing with Catfish next year.
So yes, I’m loving uni life :D
We listen We listen with open ears And every word is a kiss is a sigh is a promise from beautiful lips…
She floats and swims like the fish she is in that blue world with the rays of dawn brushing the surface of the neverstill water.
She howls and purrs and growls,wet with salt, in the sand, and shakes her glasses off, all animal energy in the night with the rumor of the sea dying out the hooting and hooting and howling.
She sings along in a beautiful voice that wasn't made for singing to the good winter's voice.
She'd rather die in fear than live on forever.
But we will, live forever, as long as that wall exists.
remembering the crazy, wild and fantastic weekend I had at the SOS 4.8 festival. By a trike of good luck Belen gave me her ticket and at 7:00.pm friday I was with Sara, Gloria and marini walking towards the festival. The evebing started out with wows at the gynormous place, dancing along to the Sunday Drivers, with their summer-like music. The real party started at 9:00 pm when The Horrors started playing, a group of 5, sexy, skinny men with wild hair that played music that reminded all of us of the start of good rock, bak at my mom's time. Garage Rock at its best; they had us all jumping and cheering and having a great time with the sound of the good old times we never got to live ourselves. After that sara and I migrated to teh Jagermeifter scenario, where we went totally wild with Crystal castles. Experimental techno with a touch of punk, it was crazy and raw, with that crazy woman and her screamy voice making our cells rumble. And then, the best part of the night finally arrived: Franz ferdinand! Me and sara got separated and spent the concert alone, but it was still fucking-ass great. Even though I was far from the stage, there were huge panels filming what was going on up there and we all danced and sung along to all of our favorite songs: Do You Want To, The Fallen, No You Girls, Ulysses, Jaqueline, This Fire, Can't Stop feeling...that sexy Alex Kapranos and his magnific voice had us going for over two hours in that typical frenzy of well known-groups. The height of the concert for me was when the guitar stopped playing, started grabbing lone drums and they all ended up banging them in a sort of tribal way that was raw and perfect. A more than great concert; they didn't let me down. After that Sara and I danced around everywhere, standing way back at the Hot Chip concert, random drunkards dancving along with us, or just us two going around dancing like morons and havign a great time. We also spent some time inside a small disco place they set up, dancing to A-Punk and Hit The Road, Jack!. A great night indeed. Saturday was spent lazing around at home, eating spaghetti made my Christian, Sara's flatmate, quite a nice guy, with all 7 puppies sara's taking care of running around the house and being generally adorable. At 4 or so it started raining and Sara and I decided to nap, listening to Chris and Bon Iver and at 7 we set off again for another wild night. At first it was utter crap because both my feet were filled with blisters and I could barely stand without feeling pain. Nada Surf I could enjoy, what little we heard of them; sara enjoyed dancing to her favorite song; I was a bit disappointed though since they didn't play ''Blonde on Blonde'', but oh well. I can't recall what happened between that and Dorian at 11:00 pm, because my feet hurt so much I could only focus on that. Since I didn't like Dorian much and we were waiting for Madness to play, I decided to talke a break and went to the bathrooms and sat there for a long while just chilling. A couple guys invited me to a beer in exchange of guarding their drinks while they went to the bathroom, lol. The good thing was I remembered I had tissues and put them inside my sock and could no longer feel the pain! So I set out to party once again with Sara. We danced happily thoguhout all of Madness' concert, and even though I ended up missing Love of Lesbian i had a good time. After that we 
set out to see some guy we didn't know called Chris Cunningham and, wow. Just wow. His concert consisted of projectiosn in 3 different pannels accompanied by very, very starnge 'music' that was way too loud and made my body hurt of the vibrations. The videos were intensely grotesque, of deformed humans, naked people fighting, orgies, a strange alien-fetus thing; it sounds disgusting, but to see something like that so well done was amazing, truly. At 4:14 am. the concert finished and we set out to see Fatboy Slim. I thought I would die. The concert lasted until almost 7:00 am, with wild techno music that had all of us jumping around madly. At first I had loads of fun but I grew more and more tired and by the end of it I was just exhausted. However, it didn't end there; it was dawning already and the concert was over when, suddenly, we all started hearing the famous ''An der schönen blauen Donau'' Vals from Johan Strauss and it was completely surreal. Everyone was dancing around like ballerinas and butterflies, couples dancing around softly, drunkards imitating butterflies, me and sara twirlign around or dancing with random people and it was absolutely great. It was completely unreal and funny and just, fun. I remember looking at sara wondered by hearing the music and the sky getting clearer and everyone dancing around us and it was just, wow. Life is great! And well, when it was all over we went back home slowly because of our pained feet, after 12 hours of party party, slept until 3 pm and spent the day cleaning the house while Christian butchered the sofa in the courtyard, which needed to get out of there. Fast (it was rotten, lol). At 7 I headed towards Murcia dressed in Sara's hippie clothes and sat in Sta. Isabel next to the flower shop just reading and watching people go by. I arrived at home at 8.30 or so, had a shower, pinned the ''Pedazo temazo'' banner to my wall, had dinner, read some manga and went to bed. A great weekend indeed!
