Jake's First Flight

Reminiscing is one of my favorite things, when I feel in the mood. Like now, sitting here alone in my room, with jere and this orange light, listening to Antony’s voice. I had the best turn to adulthood ever; turned 18 in a movie theater submerged in the world of Avatar, with blue creatures and a connection with nature and animals and intense, beautiful music, chanting in a foreign, alien language. It’s one of the best movies I’ve seen in quite a long time, sure to become a classic favorite. Even if the storyline wasn’t overly deep , clouded with clichés, it was still a great film to watch, live another life in a way only real good books can make you. As Sara said when we exited the theater, ‘’If we were about 5 years younger we would be playing Avatar like-I wanna be the girl!’’. Made me feel good, remember all the pokemon times.

And well, what can I say about this year? Too many things have happened. I had a feeling when we bathed last December in our beach, that the salt from that sea, that beach which is like a mother to us, would make good things come. Truth is the year started bad, what with all the grandma business, but she has proven everyone that she can defy nature and is now a lot better than one would expect for a woman her age. So, even if I don’t really believe it, I like to think the salt gave us all a strike of good luck.

My last months in high school were spent in a studying frenzy, with declining mental sanity, way too many laughter with Eus and, of course, all the Diego drama. I still have him in my mind a lot, sometimes more intensely than others, but I’ve grown used to having this overwhelming feeling of love inside me, because really I’ve lived with it for a long time now ( almost a year!) and it’s become a small part of me, one I wouldn’t know how to live without anymore.

Finishing high school came as a shock in the sense that, after all those years hating everyone, being a teenager and just wanting to get out of there, it surprised me how much it cost me to detach myself from the place. We all grew up, matured, surpassed our teenage-induced differences and fights and I grew fond of everyone. The other day I was walking to class and started to think of them, of seeing Coral on tv working as a reporter, having Gonzalo call me for a job at his company, talking with Africa of children and animals… it made me happy to see that really I’d forgiven them all and held no malice towards them, not even Victor. The thought of maybe seeing him 10 or 20 or 30 years from now, both adults, him having changed a lot as well as myself and just chatting in a café made me feel quite at ease. I’ve adapted to the idea of growing, moving on, leaving things behind but always remembering them, having that place in my mind to go back to, smile at the good moments, feeling embarrassment at some silly stuff I did…just, life.

Summer was incredibly strange, with Tato gone, the changes that hadn’t really solidified until it was that season. Easter was spent in a strange arrangement of me and Marina alone here, always raining, Kuroshitsuji, the bench, and it was so strange that we just accepted it as it was and had quite a lot of fun, but really it wasn’t until summer came that I realized just how much things were different. For some reason truly unknown to me I was moody most of the time, probably because all the stress of change or whatever, but I remember the holidays quite fondly and that’s what’s important. Also, finding that I could again just be with Danish without having to feel anything but comfort and calmness was quite good as well. I missed our friendship and now I find myself talking with him a lot on msn like we used to, and really I couldn’t be more happy right now.

Uni life is as good as it gets, I think, for the start of it and I’m quite content with how things are going. I’m mildly worried about the grades and stuff, but starting to mistrust myself now would be rather stupid, so I’m calm about everything. Now I only look forward to good moments with friends, with Jenny, parties, meeting new people, learning new wonderfully vet things (lol) and, who knows, finally meeting a man I can, you know, BE WITH. Lol. And if not it’s ok too. I’m just overall happy, daydreaming and City Girl and new experiences that come with the start of an adult life.

I can only conclude this with a Merry Chirstmas and, especially, Happy New Year to you all! Enjoy life :)